"The key to understanding, is communication."
Ladies and gents, thank you for visiting my blog! I am Cornelious. My friends call me Corny, hence the name "Corny Moments". A bit about myself is I don't like to talk about myself ;-). Eventhough, the idea of this blog may seem serious I love to laugh and joke around. I'm sure you'll see that as time goes by. My favorite topics to discuss are religion and politics. I know, I know. I'm asking for trouble. I have learned, when different people come from different backgrounds, that means different perspectives. This means we are destined to disagree. This does NOT mean we are, or have to be enemies. It ONLY means we disagree. I have discovered we can learn from one another and even more about ourselves when we discuss these difficult topics. Although my favorite topics are politics and religion, I will also discuss about other subjects.
My Religious Background:
I grew up southern baptist ,with my mom, until the age of 12. In those 12 years I saw a deacon pull a gun on a musician at my church. The same deacon and a few others, once broke the locks to the church doors so the choir couldn't practice. Also during those years, my cousins and I took a field trip with a church group that would tour our neighborhood. I didn't realize this until I got older, but they made us get baptized in black robes. It didn't matter to them if we were baptized or not. I discovered to get baptized in black is a symbol of something demonic. I don't remember much from that day. I can tell you this, the only thing I remember from that church was getting baptized and then getting on the bus fully clothed. A part of my memory is missing from that day. I don't think I was molested, at least I hope not. To my recollection, this church was in Longview, Texas. In my adolescent years, I was a troubled teen, so my mom sent me to live with my dad. My dad said if I didn't want to go to church I didn't have to. Therefore, I didn't. That year my dad enrolled me into Kung-Fu class, which taught me discipline and calmed my issues with rage. While in Kung-Fu I studied Buddhism and Taoism (the way of nature) and shaved my head like a monk. That's me on the right :-(
"I had no bisness doin' that with my ears." From the age of twelve to twenty I was unintentionally trying to spiritually find myself. I tried being a Lutheran for a while. In high school I wrote a paper on "how I have the right not go to church." With my history as a Southern Baptist and the things I saw over the years, I didn't understand "christians" and their judging ways and I wanted no parts of it or them! I saw a lot of "christians" who would talk about God and all his holiness and then curse someone out two minutes later. And they would look down their noses at me because I didn't go to church? By the age of 19 I became interested in God's word. I began to listen to preachers on t.v. and the radio. Jessie Duplantis and Pastor Cornell Hamilton were some of my favorites back then. Although I wasn't ready to go to church again I began to ask myself, "Am I going to church for the hypocrites or am I going to church for God?" I contemplated that for more than a year and at the age of 20 a co-worker of mine named Mike Smith. invited me to his church. I became a believer and accepted Jesus as the one true savior that year, a few months later my son was born. I accepted Christ while driving home on the freeway. I came to God in tears, after hearing what I thought at the time was terrible news. I had thoughts of suicide that night. I failed to mention, just before I stepped into the car to drive, a friend of mine named Millicent read me a scripture from The Bible. That scripture began to work on my heart. I'm glad I lived because not only did life get better, but what seemed so devastating at the moment is so minuscule now. What comes to mind is a quote I first heard from Bishop Kenneth C. Ulmer, "When you're going through hell, don't stop." Over those next few years God taught me a lot and is still doing so. I had some great times as a believer, but I also had some depressing times. It seemed everything was going wrong: my son's mother and I separated, my next relationship the woman I thought I would marry left me, my health and my finances took a downward spiral. I had tough times before I knew God. The difference between this trial and any before it was I always knew Jesus was there which gave me an incomprehensible joy. When I should have been out of my mind, I knew things would be turn out okay. I felt God embracing me and comforting me. I learned instead of asking ,"Why are you letting this happen to me?" ask, "Lord, what are you trying to show me (.)" I learned "through" the rough times in the following years how to be patient and not to worry (Matt 6:25-34). Those bad relationships caused me to take a look inward and taught me how to be a better man and one day a great husband (1 Cor 13:4-7). I learned how to forgive my past and others. I learned that those "christians" who used to, and some still, look down their noses are hurting inside. It's sad because they are hurting others when they judge and ridicule. My dad told me this quote from his favorite pastor Colin Smith, "Are you going to see the church through the eyes of man, or see church through the eyes of God?" I forgave them because I chose to see the church through the eyes of God.
Questioning my Faith:
I'm thinking of this sermon Bishop Kenneth Ulmer gave and in it he says, "Whatever a teacher teaches, a teacher tests. A good teacher will give you a test on material he has already taught, and shame on a teacher who tests on material he never taught."
And now my story... In the year 2010, one of my best friends Mandi (muah!) told me she no longer believed in Jesus. She began asking all these questions about the bible. I could answer some of her questions, but some I could only reply, "You have to have faith." The more questions I tried to answer, the more questions I began to have. I've never questioned if Jesus was real after becoming a believer. How do you tell a non-believer to have faith? That "faith" line was growing tired, because My faith was running out. I went through a period where I began to question God. Throughout this time it seemed that God was silent. One night I was reading my bible and I started to weep, because the words I read seemed to look like nonsense. So I closed my bible and I said, "OK JESUS, If you're real you better show me! I'm gonna open this bible, get a pen and paper, and every time I have a question I'm going to write it down, And I'm not gonna scratch it off my list until it is answered!" I guess I sounded like Will Smith in I AM Legend, "If you're real, you better tell me right now!" Lol. Anyway, in a way I began to do a script analysis on The Bible, starting with in the beginning of the New Testament and before I was finished with the book of Matthew, I had no more questions. A year and a half later, Mandi got engaged to be married to a nice young man and now we are both believers. One day I will post Mandi's story (if she lets me). The thing I learned the most from that experience is who Jesus was and is, intimately. I learned, the Bible is one big love story of how we, man, ran away from God and what He has done to get us back. I learned that we are all His children and He loves us ALL. I learned Jesus doesn't care about religion. All He cares about is our relationship with Him and how we treat others. Have you accepted Him? I no longer call myself Christian after this. I now say I am a "Follower of Christ." My mission in life is to love like Christ loves and not some watered down version of what I think love is. I used to get so jealous when I dated a girl and she told me about other guys and her past relationships. Now, I don't care. It's irrelevant. When we accept Christ into our lives He doesn't care where we've been or what we've done. He says, "You're sins are forgiven, now come and follow me." EVEN if we do the same thing again, when we ask for forgiveness He says, "You're sins are cast away as far as the east is from the west." He doesn't look down His nose at us and remind us of all the times we said we would "never do it again." No, with Him we have a clean slate. I learned that another word for forgiveness is to release and whenever I forgive someone I am releasing them. Therefore my job is not to only let God love me, but love through me. If God doesn't look down his nose at us, who am I to look down mine. Am I greater than God? No, I am not. It's rather sad, but I didn't hear this from many christians, growing up, which is why I had to find out for myself. Chris Rock said, "If you're going to NOT like something, don't like it because you've tried it." I also like this one by Cornell West, I believe it goes, " People have turned down christianity without actually seeing what it really is." Oh and as far as the quote by Bishop Ulmer at the top of the section... My son asks a lot of questions, A LOT of questions ;-). There have been times when I've taught him how to do something and I'm confident he knows how to do it. For example, he asked me to connect his Nintendo Wii to the television. Now, I know he knows how to connect it, because he has done it before. For some reason "he forgot" and is asking me to connect it for him. I tell him, "No, I want you to try." During his process he's getting upset, frustrated, there may be some crying involved, and etc. The entire time I remain silent and I watch him, to make sure he doesn't break anything or hurt himself. I remain silent because I taught him how to connect his Wii, I know he can do it, and I know he'll be able to figure it out, but he has to try. If he doesn't try, it won't get connected. That's how God is with us, sometimes. We kick and we scream. And even though, He is silent, He's hasn't left. He's right there in the room. When we celebrate in victory He celebrates with us and leans into your ear and says, "...I knew you could do it." That day my son connected his Wii. "What the teacher teaches, the teacher tests." Passing the Mic Well that's enough about me. You'll learn more as time progresses, and I'll learn more about you. Have an ridiculously awesome day. And remember if you're going through hell, don't stop.
Peace. Cornelious Jordan ...and just for kicks: